On the Importance of Being Nice

Hello everyone! I’m back sooner than expected, this time with a message from a guest writer: fellow Trench Crusade content creator Fred, who many of you may know as a member of the Over The Top crew. A few weeks ago Fred reached out to me and asked if we could join forces for the good of the Trench Crusade community. I believe he and I share the same goals and ideals: we both want to see this community grow and thrive, and in order to do that we both attempt, each one in his own way, to stand out as a positive force and facilitate the entrance of new players who approach Trench Crusade – and, for many, the miniature wargaming world – for the first time.

As always I risk of getting carried away so enough with my ramblings. Let’s leave the keyboard to our guest.

Yesterday was movie night at my place. I’m nearing that age where all the kids are out of the house, or getting to that stage in the near future. Yesterday, everyone was back home, sitting on our sofa, watching “Banshees of Inisherin.” Now, that movie has little to do with Trench Crusade or the spoils of war. Granted. Still, it got me thinking about what I’m going to ramble on about here. There was this dialogue in the movie, which was excellent by the way, that speaks of being “nice.” You remember someone for doing a great deed, but never for just being nice. Nice evaporates. That got me thinking.

A while ago, I was derelict. At least on the matter of TT gaming. X-wing was crashing fiercely, and I was searching for a new game. A new community. During the last years of said spaceship game I really loved, I saw the community veer towards the ultra-competitive. Sure, the tournament scene was always a big part of X-wing life but still, what started as a “fly casual” feeling and making sure your opponent has as much fun as you had gone. At least in my neck of the woods. People were training meta lists for hours on end, but that wasn’t the worst thing. New people were “seal-clubbed,” which meant that their newness to the game was taken advantage of. Being unfriendly to new people hurts communities. All communities.

So there I was, in a new one. This one. My past experiences, both professional and leisurely, brought me into contact with Mr. Pirinen. The rest is history.

Very quickly I wanted, nay needed, to regard this community as a new home. Make content. Be a voice. Attract new and friendly people so I could be surrounded by warmth, love and fun. Sorry if this sounds very “urgh” for your specific grimdark senses. I’m old enough to say what I want and need. Awkward is not a word sitting in my top 10 of most used phrasings. You play games with people you like, and that’s a fact. Then you do it again. It stops when you start getting irritated by those around you.

Another fact of life is the “A-hole-quota.” Bear with me for a second. I’ll explain. In sales, the AHQ was a thing. Basically it means that in every group, no matter how small or large, there is a percentage who just loves to be mean to others. We are human, humans do this. Now, the AHQ of a small group of elderly ladies will be different from that of a group of college frat boys. I’m sure you can see that.

Our community also has this statistic. Every community has. The gaming world is no exception. The AHQ of competitive 40K may be a whole different number than narrative TC groups. Maybe not. The point I’m trying to make is that we have a very large community, ever growing faster. There are bound to be ***** in it. We just have to make sure the quota is low and does not grow. Such people tend to scare off the friendlier people, and those are the people we desperately need to play games with. I’m sure you agree.

A good portion of my day consists of talking to people on socials. I see differences in members, depending on what faction I visit. I feel varying degrees of cordiality when confronted by mods and people in charge. Sometimes I get startled by certain comments or a lack of human empathy.

I have to think about that movie I saw yesterday, and stay confident that common decency and a general friendly disposition still live out there. Still exist in our community. Ladies and gentlemen, it is up to us to make this community the gem it can be. Everyone can have a bad day, but everyone needs to own up and look in the mirror from time to time. It’s up to us to make this community free of the things that leave a bad taste in our mouths. The world is bad enough out there. Let’s make it a great one in here.

Wanna help?

Fred